Talkin' Alien Abduction Blues chords and lyrics - DAN BERN

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[Verse 1]
[G][C][D][G]
I don't know
what made me go out [C]that night,
at [D]that hour
I'd normally been in bed,
[G]but I found myself looking up
at [C]the sky
[G]at a very [D]bright [G]light straight overhead.
It flashed [C]green, and then [D]red,
Santa Claus [G]colors.[C][G]
I stood there frozen in [C]that light,
then I started [D]hearing
this kind of a whirr.
[G]The lights got louder,
[C]and the noise got brighter,
and I [D]felt a sudden chill, [G]burr,
it [C]was cold.
Shouldn't have gone out [D]without a coat
My mom was right [G]again[C][D][G]
This big old spaceship
[C]floated down
[D]and hovered three feet above the earth
[G]Never been so scared in all
[C]my life
Could have given [D]spontaneous birth
[G]If I was[C] a woman and p[D]reg[G]nant[D][G]
Then these two little guys
about four [C]feet tall
jumped off [D]that space age
Greyhound bus
They [G]grabbed me by the arm[C]s
and said, start [D]walking
Dan, you're coming with [G]us
Abduc[C]tion
They didn't actu[D]ally speak,
but I understood them,
[G]telepathy[C][D][G]
They strapped me down
to this metal [C]crate,
[D]took out this thirty -five
foot long hose
[G]They said, don't worry, this [C]won't hurt,
then [D]they stuffed that sucker up [G]my nose
All [C]the way up I knew [D]my nose was long
But this [G]was a surprise[C][D][G]
They examined me [C]from head
to toe
Stuck prod[D]s in every orifice
This [G]cold gray box
Come gave me [C]a kiss
And extracted [D]a couple of quarts
Of piss, I [G]felt dehydrated
Then they waved this wand
[C]all around my brain,
[D]said now we're readin' your brain,
you see
You [G]got an awful lot of songs [C]in there,
though it seems [D]they're all in the key [G]of G
[C]So what about Maryland,
that's in D, they said D [D]-flat actually, [C]I said well yeah,
cause I tuned down a half step
What about Hannibal,
they [D]said what about Hannibal
I [C]said well technically it's in G,
but it's really a drop D [D]tuning capoed up
[C]They said,
how come you don't play the harmonica more?
[D]I said, how come I'm in a spaceship
talking to aliens about my acts?
[C]They said, we'd rather talk physics,
[D]but you're illiterate there.
[G]Couldn't argue.[C][D][G]
They should drive me someplace in [C]Brazil.
It [G]took a month [D]to get back to the USA.
When [G]I told my friends
what I'd been through,
no one [D]believed what I had [G]to say.
That [C]sucked.
To [D]be expected, though,
most people think Hannibal's
in straight [G]tuning.[C][D][G]
Well, my life's back [C]to normal now.
I do [D]the things I always do.
[G]But once a week
I meet [C]with twelve other folk[D]s
who've been abducted
[G]too.
I [C]tell my story, they [D]tell theirs,
[C]I don't believe them
though.
[D][G][C][D][G][C]
[D]