Stuart Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[D]You know what, Stuart,
I [A]LIKE YOU. You're not [G]like [A]the other
People, [D]here, in the trailer park.

[Verse 2]
Oh, don't go get me [A]wrong. They're fine people,
they're
Good [G]Americans. [A]But they're con[Bm] tent to sit back,
[G]maybe
[D]Watch a little Mork and [F#]Mindy on
[Bm]channel [G]57, maybe [D]kick
Back a [F#]cool, [Bm]Coors[G] 16-ouncer. They're good[D],
fine people,
[F#]Stu art. B[Bm]ut they don't k[G]now
[D]... what the queers are doing
To the soil!
[A]

[Verse 3]
[D]You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the
kid that delivers papers
In the [A]neighborhood. He's a foreign
[G]kid. [A]Some of the neighbors
Say [D]he smokes crack,
but I don't believe it.

[Verse 4]
Anyway, [A]for his tenth birthday,
all [G]he wanted was [A]a Burrow Owl.
[Bm]Kept bugging his [G]old man. [D]"Dad,
get me a [F#]burrow [Bm]owl. I'll never
[G]Ask for anything [D]else as long
[F#]as I live." So the [Bm]guy
Breaks down [G]and buys
him a burrow [D]owl.
[F#]Anyway,

[Verse 5]
[Bm]10:3[G]0, the other night[D],
I go out in my yard, and there's
The Wurster kid, [A]looking up in the tree. I say,
"What are
You looking for?" He says
"I'm looking for my bur[F]row owl."
[G]I say, "Jumping[C] Jesus on a[F]
Pogo Stick. Everybody [C]knows
The burrow [F]owl lives. In a hole. [C]In
the ground. Why the hell [F]do you
Think they call it a burrow [C]owl,
anyway?" Now [G]Stuart, do you
Think a kid like that is going to know
what [D]the queers are
Doing to the soil?

[Verse 6]
I first became aware [A]of this about ten years [G]ago,
[A]the summer
My oldest [D]boy,
Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
[A]Town every year? Well this year they
[G]came through [A]with a ride
Called The Mix[Bm]er. The man [G]said,
"Keep [D]your head, and arm[F#]s, ins[Bm]ide
The Mixer at all [G]times." [D]But Bill Jr,
he [Bm]was a[G] DAAAREDEVIL, just
[D]Like his old man. [F#]He was lean[Bm]ing out
saying "Hey every[G]body,
[D]Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He
was de[A]capitated! They found
His head over by [F]the snow
cone [G]concession.

[Verse 7]
[C]A few days after that,
[F]I open up the mail. And there's [C]a pamphlet
In there. From [F]Pueblo, Colorado,
and it's [C]addressed to Bill, Jr.
And [F]it's entitled,
"Do you [C]know what the queers are do[G]ing to our

[Verse 8]
Soil?"
[G]Now, Stuart, if you [D]look at the soil
around any large US city,
There's [A]a big unde[G]ground homosexual
[A]population. Des [D]Moines, Iowa,
For an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines,
[A]Stuart.
You can't build on [G]it; you can't [A]grow
anything in it. The [Bm]gov ernment
Says it's due [G]to poor farm[D]ing. But
[F#]I know what's [Bm]really going on,
[G]Stuart. I [D]know it's the queers.
[F#]They're in i[Bm]t with the aliens.
[G]They're bui[D]lding landing str[F#]ips for gay[Bm] Martia[G]ns,
[D]I swear to
God.

[Verse 9]
You know what, [A]Stuart,
I like you. You're not like the other
People, [D]here in this trailer park.