Nobody's Perfect Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[F#]Michael, you've changed.
Well, so have you.
Well...
Nobody's perfect, nobody's perfect.
I am human, so are you.
[Bm]Nobody's perfe[B]ct,
nobody's perfect.
[Em]Here is what we [B]ought to plan [Em]to do.
Let's make [F#]a list of irritating habit[Bm]s
that we [Bbdim]think the other per[F#] son has.[Bm]
Then [D]once we [Ab]know our
irritating habit[C#m]s,
we [Absus4]can correct t[C#m]hem.
As for example,
now [B]please don't be offen[Em]ded,
but because [D]these things ex[G]ist,
I [Em]have taken the little liber[C]ty
of [B]fixing up [E]a little list.
Now you're [D]sure you don't mind?
Oh, I'm [E]absolutely [Bm]sure.
[D]well I think that's very [A]big of you
well you see dear it just so happens
that [D]I have made up a [Em]little listing
to [A]a pair of socks
does [F#]not represe[Bm]nt the e[B]nd[Bm]
of [E]the civil[C#m]ized w[A]orld
[D]if you're [A]out [F#]of s[C]ocks
[B]believe [D]me [Bm]when I [E]say that there's [Bm]bound [D]to
[A]be a more effective way [E]to [A]get them washed
[F#]than to stand in y[D]our drawers
[Bm]in t[E]he middle of[Bm] the kit[E]chen screaming[Ddim][C#]
[F#m]someon[A]e h[D]as stolen my so[C#m]cks[C#][F#]
[Em]this is a [D]piece of paper
This is a column which, as you see,
I have [D]placed on the piece of paper.
This is a list of receipts and bills,
what we might call household expense,
which I have entered along this line,
forming a business -like design
inside the column which I've prepared
upon this piece of paper.
This is a total of all those bills.
It represents a month's expense,
the whole outlay in checks and
cash
that went for the rent
and the corned beef hash,
In short, the sum and net result
of all the figures inside the column
which I've prepared upon
this piece of paper.
Now, this, as you know,
is a statement from the [Em]bank.[E]
It [Em]must be compared
with the total result
of all the figures inside the column.
If we are to know, in terms of cost,
just how much money we've made or [A]lost,
[C#dim]how far, in fact, [Cdim]we've come or gone,
[A#dim]what I'm trying to say is, hon[C]ey,
you're over[D]drawn.
[Gm]Again![D][A]
You chew in your [D]sleep.
Do [Gm]what? You [D]chew.[Dm]
[D]You [A]go like this. I don't. You do.
[D]I've never don[G]e that one
time in my life.
[Ddim]Darling, [D]please [A#]re m[A]ember,
I'm [D]your wife.[Dm]
[D]You [A]chew in your sleep[D].
You do it [A#]frequently.
[Gm]But that's absolutely awfu[A#]l.
[A]I q[A#]uite [A]agree.[D]
You are [Em]always [D]late.
You are always [E]early
[A]We're totally dressed
And ready to go
I open the door
But do we make it?
It's [D]where are my gloves?
My gloves, my gloves
And [A]where is my purse?
My purse, my purse
[E]Where are my keys?
Where is my hat?
[A]Where is my this?
Where is my that?
If [D]I protest
It only makes it [A]worse
[B]Hat and gloves, [E]keys and purse
[B]Pain in the neck, [E]terrible curse
And [D]I would simply l[B]ike to state
[E]That if you ask me what I [Bm]hate
It's the terrible, horrible
[A]Habit [D]you have of alw[E]ays
[D]being [Gsus4]late[G]
Oh, [C]when I start to tell a story
An amusing anecdote I've read
When I start [A]to [Bm]tell a funny [C]story
[A]I get flu[D]stered
cause I know what lies ahead
It always [C]happens just when I start
To tell a story
It [F]makes no difference where we [D]are
When [C]I get where the joke s[Em]hould be
You [A#dim]say it just ahead[A] of
[Em]me I[Bm] mean[D][G]
[Dm]You [D]give[Dm][G][Gsus4][C][G]
[A]me [D]Rus[F#]sian dressing
which I [Bm]happen to detest
You [F#]grab the morning papers
[F#]and you [B]take the part that's best.
Every night since we've been wed,
[C#m]you've worn cold cream into [C#m]bed.
Every night beneath the [Ab]sheet,
[F#]must you look [E]like [D]trick or [A]treat?
Hmm. Nobody's [F#]perfect.
[F#]Nobody's perfect.
[Bm]I am human, [F#]so are [Bm]you.[F#]
[Bm]Nobody's [B]perfect.
Nobody's perfect.
[Em]Here is what we ought to [B]plan to [Em]do.
You take my [F#]list
and see if you can't [Bm]do a little better.
You take [F#]mine and see if you can't notice
an [B]improvement.
[A]Cause nobody's perfect,
especially [G]not [Em]you.
Not you.
[F#]Not you, not y[D]ou, not you, not you, not you.