I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Chords

Lyrics & chords

[Verse 1]
[A]If your ass[G] is a C[A]hinese restaurant
I'll have the poo-poo [Bm]platter
[A]platter[G]
My friend [A]Jerry Vandergrift kissed
me in [Bm]Home Ec. [D]class[A]
[G]Later in the afternoon [A]some jarheads in
the locker room [Bm]kicked my [A]ass[G]
I said guys I'm like [A]you I like
Monster Trucks [D]too

[Verse 2]
Want to see how many [Bm]push-ups I I can [G]do?
I just wish I was [A]queer so
I could [D]get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
[A]Queer guys that don't dig

[Verse 3]
[D]Chicks that don't dig guys [A]like me
See I'm not queer I'm too [G]ugly
But if I were [A]handsome just imagine
how [Bm]great it would [D]be
[A]Incog[G]nito as gay though but not [A]actually
that way though pseudo [Bm]homo

[Verse 4]
[Bm]Phony[A]
[G]Maybe it's a stupid the[A]ory
or maybe just stupidity
[D]But if I was a q[Bm]ueerbee in
the fashion in[G]dustry
Scoring with a su[A]per model
would be easy
[Bm]

[Verse 5]
'Cause [G]'super model' means voluptuous
but [A]is also is synonymous with
[Bm]'Super [D]dumb'
[A]Ya see I'd [G]be a good listener so she'd
[A]treat me like a sister and soon
[Bm]I'd become
[A]

[Verse 6]
[G]
That trusted friend that [A]cares that
rubs her back and braids her [D]hair
No it wouldn't be a [Bm]week
before I'm in her under[G]wear
I wish I was [A]queer so I could [D]get chicks

[Verse 7]
Chicks dig guys that are
[A]Queer guys that don't dig
[D]Chicks that don't dig guys like [A]me
See I'm not queer I'm too [G]ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm [A]packin' in my
denim it's what's [Bm]in my ge[D]nes
[A]The

[Verse 8]
[G]only smoked meat the only [A]sausage
I would eat is made [Bm]by Jimmy
[A]Dean
[G]See I'm not to kee[A]n on
the smell of Vasel[D]ine
No I'm not Princess [Bm]Di and
I don't want to be a [G]queen

[Verse 9]
I wish I was [A]queer so I could [D]get [Bm]chicks
[A][G][A]
[G][E][D]
[Bm][A][G][A]
[G]
[E]Any[G]way if I were gay I'd have to
[A]change my name to Dirk [Bm]or Le[D]wis
[A]Hang out[G] with my mom's hair stylist
his [A]name is Kip he's got a lisp he
[Bm]Talks like [A]this

[Verse 10]
[G]And wear my mother's lin[A]gerie
learn the songs of Broad[D]way
And appreciate De[Bm]peche Mode
and avant garde bal[G]let
I wish I was [A]queer so I could get [Bm]chicks

[Verse 11]
Chicks dig guys that are
[A]Queer guys that don't dig
[Bm]Chicks dig guys that are
[D]Queer guys [A]that [D]don't [A]dig
[Bm]Chicks dig guys that are

[Verse 12]
[A]Queer guys that don't dig
[Bm]Chicks that don't dig guys like [D]me
[G]See[A][D][A][Bm][A]
[Bm][D]
[G][Bm][A][D][A][Bm]
[A]
[Bm]I'm [D]not [G]quee[Bm]r I'[A]m too ugly[D][A]
[Bm]
And [A]I don't shave my heiny

[Verse 13]
[Bm]Don't shave my [D]heiny
See [G]I'm [Bm]not [A]queer I'm [D]too [A]ugly[Bm]