Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun chords and lyrics - NOËL COWARD

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[Verse 1]
[G][Em][Am][D][G][D][G]
[D]Col[G]one[D]l Montmorency,
who was [G]in Calcutta in [D]92,
[G]emerged from his retirement [D]for the [G]war.
He wasn't very pleased
[Bbdim]with all he hear[D]d and all he saw,
but [G]whatever he felt,
he [Abdim]tightened his belt and
[Am]organized [D]a corps.
Poor Colon[G]el Mont[D]morency thought,
considering all the wars he'd fought,
the [G]Home Guard was his
[D]job to do or [Bbaug]die
But [D]after days and [G]weeks and [Em]years,
[D]bravely drying his [G]manly tears,
he [D]wrote the [Ebdim]following letter
to the [D]Minister [A]of [D]Supply
Could you [G]please oblige us [D]with a Bren gun,
or failing [Bm]that, a [A]hand grenade will [D]do
We've got some ammunition,
in [G]a rather damp condition
A [A]ma jor house has [Ebdim]an ark with us
that was [Em]used at [A]Water[D]loo
With [G]the vicar's tirrapante,
a pitchfork and a spade,
it's [Ebdim]rather ha[B]rd to guard
an aero[Em]drome.[Baug]
[G]So if [C]you can't ob [C#dim]lige
us with a [G]Bren [D]gun[E],
the [Am]Home Guard [D]might as well go [G]home.
[D]Could you[G] please oblige us
[D]with a Bren gun?
We're getting awfully
[Bbdim]tired of drawing [D]lots.
Today we had a shipment
of [G]some curious equipment,
And [A]just for a prank,
they [D]sent us a [Ebdim]tank that [D]ties it[A]self in [D]knots.
On [G]Sunday's mock invasion,
Captain Clark was heard to say
He [Ebdim]hadn't ev[B]en got a brush and co[Em]mb.
[G]So if [C]you can't ob [C#dim]lige
us with a [G]brand [D]gun[E],
The [Am]Home Guard [D]might as well go
[G]home.[C][G][D][G][D]
Col[G]onel Mont[D]morency planned,
in [G]case the [D]enemy tried to land,
to [G]drive them back with [D]skill
and ar[G]moured force.
He realised his [C#dim]army
[Bbdim]should be [D]mechanised,
course,
but somewhere [G]inside,
[E]experience cried,
my [D]kingdom for a horse.
Poor Col[G]onel Mont[D]morency tried,
at [G]infinite cost of [D]time and pride,
[G]to tackle his super[D]iors [Bbaug]again.
Hav[D]ing just one [Em]motorbike,
[D]fourteen swords and a marlin [G]spike,
he [D]wrote the [Ebdim]following letter
in the [D]following [A]ur gent [D]train.
[G]Could you please oblige
us [D]with the Bren gun?
We [Bm]need it [Bbdim]very badly, I'm [D]afraid.
Our local crossword solver
has [G]an excellent revolver.
[A]But during a short attack on the for[D]t,
the trigger got misplayed.
In [G]course of operations
[C]planned for [G]Friday afternoon,
our [B]orders are to storm
the Hippo[Em]drome.[Baug]
[G]So if [C]you can't oblige us
[D]with the [G]Bren [D]gun[E],
the [Am]Home Guard [D]might as well go [G]home.
[D]Could you[G] ple[C]ase oblig[G]e us
[D]with the Bren gun?
The lack of one [A]is wounding to our [D]pride.
Last night we found the cutest little
[G]German parachutist.
He [A]looked at our kit and [D]giggled
a bit and [Em]laughed un[A]til he [D]cried.
We'll [G]have to hide that armored [G]car
when marching to Berlin.
We'd [B]all must be ashamed of it in Rome
[D]So [G]if [C]you can't ob [C#dim]lige
us with a [G]brand [D]Gun[E],
the [Am]Home Guard [D]might as well go [G]home[C][G]